Saved from Rejection and Fear - David Eells - 1.5.2025

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Sunday Jan 05, 2025

Saved from Rejection and Fear - David Eells - 1.5.2025

Sunday Jan 05, 2025

Saved from Rejection and Fear

(Audio)

David Eells – 1/5/25

God loves you, rejected brethren, and He has a plan to set you free. Many millions of people are so wounded inside that they don't even want to examine the real cause of their pain. It's like they are saying, “Leave us alone and let us serve the Egyptians”. This is a self-preservation tactic of the demons who keep them in bondage. Christian, you are not wrestling with flesh and blood but principalities and powers and rulers of this darkness. The demons have deceived you into thinking men are your enemies so you will leave them alone and be a submissive host in their divide and conquer tactics. Their plan is to break up every family and fellowship so they can pick the lambs off one by one. When I speak on this subject, I know these spirits will speak to their hosts and say, “He is talking about you again” and they will feel that pain again. But we must get to the real problem and the real solution. So bear with me and a little pain and those of you who believe will be totally set free. Those of you who do not believe will destroy and be destroyed. You are a porcupine Christian. You are wounded and you wound everyone who gets close to you. When someone deals with you they have to be so careful or they will get stabbed. When someone tries to help you, it's like a man who finds a spiny cocklebur on his socks and tries to take it off and it sticks in his hand. He quickly tries to pull it out of his hand and it sticks in his other hand. I would like to share with you from my own painful experience with these demons and about God's solution.

My own dad inherited a spirit of rejection from his dad and passed it on to me by association and by blood. When we were in darkness, we could not do anything about what we inherited through the gene pool but we can now. I loved my dad but to my mind I couldn't please him because he couldn't show any love or favor to me for “fear of rejection”, a companion spirit to “rejection”. He was a stern disciplinarian but he couldn't show any love with it. So I grew up with feelings of rejection, which were very painful. This spirit brings feelings of being unloved, unwanted, disliked, looked down on, incapability and loneliness, even in the midst of a crowd, etc. {Pro.18:14} The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; But a broken spirit who can bear? I was tormented with recurring thoughts from this spirit that I was rejected because of what my dad or some other person said or did to make light of me or criticize or correct me. Correction, although necessary and necessary for growth, is always seen and felt as painful rejection by one who has this spirit. This is a terrible trap because being angry at correction ultimately makes one a fool. This spirit blows minor correction or criticism all out of proportion to actuality with his lies and constant bringing of these things to memory. Some literally shake their heads when these painful thoughts come.

This constant pain programs the host into a deadly spiral of other spirits of unforgiveness, frustration, hopelessness, depression, anger and retaliation, or it goes the other way to suicide. This is all unloaded on the person they FEEL is the culprit because the spirits make them feel that the problem is NEVER, NEVER them. Everyone else can know it's them but they refuse any blame for fear of more rejection. This is another self-defense mechanism of the demons in them. Some people go beyond fear to paranoia about what they perceive everyone is thinking and saying about them. When this perceived offence is unloaded on the perceived culprit, that person is at a loss for words, wondering what just happened and what is wrong with this person. Little do they know it is a coven of evil spirits warring with and through this host. The host is equally dismayed, wondering why this culprit does not understand they have offended him or her. And so two people are totally divided as the demons laugh at them. If a son feels rejected by his father, for instance, the demons can pull a switcheroo. The son will equate a father figure later in life with the rejection of his father and unload on him. And that father figure will wonder, “What in the world just happened?” A daughter FEELS rejected by her father and equates him with her husband many years later and unloads on him. And he wonders, “What just hit my family?” It is a vicious demonic cycle that never stops until families and churches have been destroyed and, ultimately, the host, too.

As a young man, I didn't realize I was trying to ease the pain of rejection with alcohol and drugs. My dad was just like me. He tried to ease the pain with alcohol for a short time. After I became a Christian, I commanded this spirit of alcoholism out of him and it left immediately. He was thankful to God that He even cared about him enough to do this. Many people with drug, alcohol, sex, food, etc. problems need to be delivered of unforgiveness and rejection so they can get and stay delivered of these crutches and false comforts.

Having my dad's fear of rejection made me close many out of my life for fear of being hurt, so I had no social relationship to people who were not like me. I built a spiritual wall around me for fear that if I let myself be known or love outwardly, I would be rejected. I became frustrated and angry with anyone's questions about my personal life, in order to help me because I felt they wouldn't like what they saw. I always desired and sought my dad's acceptance but never FELT I had it. So now I felt rejection, fear of rejection, frustration and anger about people who were much more normal than I and sometimes just wanted to help me. In my mind, I turned their attempts to find out my problems and help into attacks against me. These demons had me in a sullen, stand-offish trap that I would have died in, had I not come to the Lord and found out their lies. I learned of the sovereignty of God and learned to pity and forgive others as I wanted to be forgiven. I learned it was I who was deceived and not they. This delivered me from the wall I had built all around me with the demons' help.

When I had these spirits, they made it painful for me to be around good people who could help me and they lied to me about them. They made me comfortable to be around people who had the same spirits that I did so I would never get deliverance through association and transference of demons with them. When I raised my own kids, some of whom also inherited rejection through the blood, I didn't like bringing them around my father because I saw that these spirits strengthened in them when they associated with these spirits in him. There was a transference of spirits through association. When they got away from him, this subsided. I raised my children as Christians but when they got out on their own some of them went their own way and became cold toward the Lord and began to manifest the same spirits inherited from both sides of our family. I have told them to forgive and they would be delivered and I know that they will be soon.

The Lord has shown me that many of the ministers who have attacked me or our ministry have done so because they were infected with these spirits and are seeking a place God has not given them. Although not ordained by the Lord, they seek to be in the ministry for selfish, egotistical desires. It is easy to do nowadays; with the Internet, anyone can share knowledge that they have gained from others and before you know it, they have claimed a title and no one knows where they came from. These men don't just teach against bad doctrines and principles, they teach against individuals by name a lot, which is very seldom done in the New Testament. This was never done by Jesus, once by Paul and once by John. In these few cases, these men were causing great destruction to the local body because of their own ego and rebellion against the Lord. The reason these self-ordained or Babylon-ordained preachers pick out certain men to rail at is because, in a perverse way, this soothes their own ego that they are better than someone else and they are saying this very loudly.

Why do they do this? Those who have rejection spirits many times desire and seek what they don't feel they are getting from others: acceptance, esteem, respect, even worship. This leads to much idolatry and submission to what the world expects of you. If they don't feel they get this respect from you because what you teach is against their wicked lifestyle, they will attack and belittle you to make them feel better about themselves and to make sure their followers won't hear you. This, of course, is a perverse way to gain esteem in their own eyes and in the eyes of others who are like them. Birds of a feather flock together. {Mic.3:5} Thus saith the Lord concerning the prophets that make my people to err; that bite with their teeth, and cry, Peace; and whoso putteth not into their mouths (or feed their egos and wallets), they even prepare war against him: {6} Therefore it shall be night unto you, that ye shall have no vision; and it shall be dark unto you, that ye shall not divine; and the sun shall go down upon the prophets, and the day shall be black over them. When you see these people, pray for them. Like Paul, they can be delivered and be a great witness.

The Lord moved me to write this article when I was realizing how big this rejection problem is among Christians and that day I was put in contact with a young man who was a drug addict and wanted deliverance. It was ruining his relationship to everyone, including his wife. As I spoke to him, I felt the drugs weren't the foundational problem. I asked him what kind of mental pain he was seeking relief from in drugs. He wasn't sure. I asked him if he was not forgiving anyone. I asked him if he felt over-corrected and under-loved by anyone. He said that would be his dad who recently died. He said his dad was constantly correcting him and he couldn't take it. His dad was at one time an alcoholic. I told him that his dad had passed on a spirit of rejection to him through constant correction without the ability to show love. He basically said I hit the nail on the head, although it was the Lord. I told him he was trying to cover up or get relief from the mental and emotional pain of a rejection spirit with drugs. I told him he should forgive and pity his dad because he was also in bondage to rejection and didn't know how to be free and used alcohol to relieve the pain. I asked him to pray a prayer of forgiveness for his dad and his granddad that he said he felt unforgiveness toward because he left him alone through his death. When he did this, I commanded rejection, fear of rejection and abandonment to leave him in Jesus name, which they did. He had labored under their bondage for some years. He had been delivered over to the tormentors because of unforgiveness, as Jesus said would happen. After this, we were able to command the spirits of addiction to leave him and they did. We talked again and he was feeling greatly relieved and had come off the drugs and is seeking to be a disciple of Jesus. His mom told me, “I can see the son I haven't seen for quite some time and I praise the Lord for that”. He said, “I wanted to let you know that my sickness has passed. Thank you, Lord, and thank you, David. Thank you for your help; you guys saved my life”. Jesus saved his life through his forgiveness and faith.

As a young man, I never forgave from the heart and, therefore, rejected others in return. I was, therefore, delivered over to the tormentors, as Jesus said. {Mat.18:32} Then his lord called him unto him, and saith to him, Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou besoughtest me: {33} shouldest not thou also have had mercy on thy fellow-servant, even as I had mercy on thee? {34} And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due. {35} So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if ye forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. So the key to take away the demons' rights over you is to forgive and to believe that Jesus delivered you from them at the cross. {Col.1:13} who delivered us out of the power of darkness, and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of his love. Friend, if you will be sure to forgive everyone and exercise your faith toward God's promises, you will be a new person who is free to love and associate with good people.

You may believe that a person's sins are cast into the depths of the sea, as Micah 7:19 says, to be remembered no more. But when a person does not forgive, their past sins are remembered and they are judged for them. {Eze.21:24} Therefore thus saith the Lord: Because ye have made your iniquity to be remembered, in that your transgressions are uncovered, so that in all your doings your sins do appear; because that ye are come to remembrance, ye shall be taken with the hand. ... {Mat.6:12} And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. {13} And bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil [one.] {14} For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. {15} But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. I pray you will forgive whatever you believe any has done to you so you will be forgiven and the tormentors will have no authority to hold you in bondage ever again.

There is not a set of classic symptoms for this spiritual disease. Rejection isn't always the same because it is only one spirit, but depending on the tactics they are using to destroy the individual, other spirits are invited in. It's like a demonic family tree which changes with different people and their blood inheritances. Some seek acceptance and recognition in order to comfort themselves and end up with pride, manipulation and controlling others. Many seek to be pastors because of this. Satan loves that. Some go another way and have fear of more rejection so they separate from others and become very introverted and cannot be joined to anything or anyone. Some cannot be corrected because of their fear of rejection and become fools, as the scriptures say. The demonic branches are as different as family trees. We are told that many ways seem right unto men but the end of this all is death, just as Satan plans. But for the grace of Jesus there go I. If some of these symptoms are in you and you will seek to be honest with yourself and God, He will deliver you.

Please pray with me. Father, with my will I forgive _______ _______ and I ask you to take the emotions of unforgiveness and bitterness from my heart. I ask you to forgive and bless them to know You in all Your fullness and restore them from any damage I may have done to them.

Now, please take the authority given to you by Jesus, Who said: {Mar.16:17} And these signs shall accompany them that believe: in my name shall they cast out demons. If possible, do this with other Spirit-filled believers. Say with me: I command you, spirits of rejection, fear of rejection, frustration, hopelessness, depression, anger, retaliation, suicide, etc., to leave me now in Jesus' name.

Now agree with me that this is done according to: {Mat.18:19} Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father who is in heaven. And: {Mar.11:23} Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou taken up and cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that what he saith cometh to pass; he shall have it. {24} Therefore I say unto you, All things whatsoever ye pray and ask for, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Now go and confess your deliverance before men, according to: {Rom.10:10} for with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. {11} For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be put to shame. ... {Mat.10:32} Every one therefore who shall confess me before men, him will I also confess before my Father who is in heaven. {33} But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father who is in heaven.

Now walk in the steps of Jesus as His disciple.

Love from your servant in Christ,
David

Friends, the solution for what you have suffered all your life could be forgiveness from the heart. Listen to The Curse of Unforgiveness series. It ends with part seven, which is a revelation on rejection, anger and retaliation.

If a Christian does not forgive from the heart, he will go to hell, no matter how much he has done for the kingdom because he cannot be forgiven, according to Jesus. Read Deliverance from Rejection.

Read about how good and evil traits are passed generationally through our DNA.

Also, a sister suffered all her life with bondage to rejection, fear, anger and separation from others. She began to have terrible headaches and we would pray them away but they continued to come back until she seemed to have a stroke. Her speech was slurred and her leg was numb and she would drag it. The pain was terrible. Everyone was praying for her, as we are you. She got a revelation that she had only been forgiving her ex-husband with mental assent and not from the heart, as Jesus commanded in Mat.18:34, 35 under threat that the tormentors would have control of her life. Esau was a son of Abraham and Isaac, as we are through faith, but sold his birthright through a root of bitterness that defiled his seed -- Hebrews 12:14-17. Don't let this happen to you. This sister repented under this pressure and forgave him from her heart. Then something wonderful happened to her -- her bonds just fell off and she was a completely different person than she had ever been her whole Christian life. She is loving, friendly, outgoing and joyous. Everyone recognizes that she is totally different. She has been bubbling over with joy since this happened. Her husband has never known this person.

Chris Boswell - 05/20/2010

I just read the above article. Rejection and fear of rejection are big in my family and have been in me, also. I am glad I read this article because it brought me great insight and deliverance from these demons! I pray also that my whole family be delivered from these evil spirits, in Jesus' name! I can also see how these demons have destroyed many lives around me, and people I grew up with, and I pray that they would all be delivered from these destructive spirits. I am so glad to be rid of these demons; it has brought me great relief! And I know now that I also am able to receive forgiveness and healing that I so desperately need. Thank you, brother David, for sharing your own testimony about deliverance from rejection and its fears. God bless!

Lorena Wagner - 05/20/2010

Tonight's Bible study was absolutely fabulous!!! I loved it! I know it was for me. I have been devouring The Curse of Unforgiveness audios. Last year I was royally burned. All I thought about was, just add water -- The Water of the Word -- and turn the other cheek, which I did. With the ashes of burning the wood, hay and stubble, and the Water of the Word, it was a potent, purifying cleanser. I was delivered of two demons that flew out of me with such a strong force that it woke me up. I had been sleeping at the time. One demon flew out and hit my window, and my window even rattled because of it. I wasn't even trying to get rid of any demons when that happened. Tonight I was delivered of the spirit of rejection, the fear of rejection and condemnation, which I had been battling all my life. Father is amazing!

Jim and Andie

Dearest family and friends,

We read the article above this morning in our daily devotional and prayed the enclosed prayer and received deliverance from the feelings of rejection and the fear associated with it that have plagued us (both) all of our lives. Praise the Lord!

In His love,
Jim and Andie

Melanie - 01/06/2011

It seems peculiar but I was helped to see that I had a spirit of rejection when I was listening to your broadcast last night and after reading about the railings and the topic of slander. Though I hate such things, I did realize that I had a spirit of rejection when I realized how insurmountable it would seem to me to address all of this as the elders and David have. I looked up the post on the spirit and rejection and prayed and forgave all others I could think of. I believe that God has done a great deliverance in my life because of this. Thank you God and UBM.

Rejection Lied; Father Loves Me

Anonymous - 04/04/2015 (David's notes in red)

Friends, one of the biggest plagues in Christianity is people who received rejection spirits through their relationships with their earthly parents and/or inherited them through the bloodline, who now relate to their Heavenly Father or spiritual fathers in the faith in the same way because of these deceiving spirits. This is also what spawned the faction movement.

I hope this will help the saints not to fall into the same traps of Satan. It was sure an eye-opener for me, though. I wasn't realizing that the thoughts and feelings I was having were sinful and were grieving Father. Most people don't recognize that feelings of unworthiness and self-pity or self-loathing (all side effects of rejection) are sin and contribute to fear, doubt and unbelief. They create a huge gulf between us and the saving power and deliverance of Jesus, and keep us from receiving the gifts of God.

I feel there are two manifestations of rejection. One is that people lash out at others and defend themselves and the other is that people turn inward on themselves in the form of self-loathing and unworthiness. (We cast these spirits and their thoughts down from all who agree with the good news that Jesus bore this curse on the cross.) I believe these issues go along with unforgiveness, even of oneself. I think there may be others besides me who have forgiven everyone else, except themselves. (Unforgiveness of oneself or of Father God or of spiritual fathers causes many much grief and gives the devil authority over us.)

Father has shown me in this dream that now it is time to forgive myself. I believe Father has shown me that this has been a main block to overcoming and receiving healing for trials and temptations. (I pray, Father, that You will show Your love, grace and forgiveness of all who have this need today.)

There may be other things but Father is being faithful to reveal these things to me. I know in my head that He loves me but I desire to know it in my heart also. (We pray that all who hear these words and have a need to feel the love of the Father, that they receive this today, in Jesus' name.) It is His will that I be in perfect health. I know He will be with me every step of the way and that I will have a great testimony at the end.

I dreamed that I was in a white surveillance van parked outside of the home of an old, Middle Eastern man who was a doctor. (He represents Jehovah Rapha, our healer. [This is Jesus Christ who repairs broken lives and bodies.]) His home was my childhood home. (Many people's hurts start in their childhood but our Healer was there and knows of these hurts and is meeting those needs today.) I remember that this house faced east. (The coming of the sun/Son in their lives.) {Eph.2:19} So then ye are no more strangers and sojourners, but ye are fellow-citizens with the saints and of the household of God, {20} being built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the chief corner stone; {21} in whom each several building, fitly framed together, groweth into a holy temple in the Lord; {22} in whom ye also are builded together for a habitation of God in the Spirit.

I was watching the doctor closely through a pair of very powerful binoculars. I watched every move He made and studied all His activities and His comings and goings. He was very predictable and seemed like a nice, gentle man. {Heb.13:8} Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and to-day, yea and forever. I was studying him from afar because I was fearful of Him and concerned about His activities. (This represents trying to understand the Father through natural senses and finite understanding and assigning our own human nature and qualities to our Heavenly Father. Trying to make Him into our image and trying to understand His ways through a human perspective. This causes us to be fearful of God in the wrong kind of way. We cannot understand God through our own intellect. We need the Holy Spirit to understand anything about God and His ways. (God's foreordained plan to transform us starts in our beginning with the dirt He sows the seed in. Our natural life is the dirt, which cannot be compared with the eternal seed of the sons of God. All sons and daughters of God must be saved from sin so that they know and understand grace -- unmerited favor of God.)

(Jesus said, “He that hath seen me, hath seen the Father”.) (Jesus' giving heart. His kindness and graciousness to men exhibited in the Gospels is an example of our Heavenly Father's love for us. He cries to us.) {Isa.55:6} Seek ye Jehovah while he may be found; call ye upon him while he is near: {7} let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return unto Jehovah, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. {8} For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith Jehovah. {9} For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

{Joh.14:8} Philip saith unto him, Lord, show us the Father, and it sufficeth us. {9} Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and dost thou not know me, Philip? He that hath seen me hath seen the Father; How sayest thou, Show us the Father? {10} Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? The words that I say unto you I speak not from myself: but the Father abiding in me doeth his works.

One day, when this kind doctor went out on an errand, I decided to go inside his house and find out what was inside and what he was doing in there. I thought he might be doing something to hurt the 'children'. (This represents viewing God as an angry and punishing father. Many, like myself, who have had this type of earthly father, may unconsciously project that experience onto our Heavenly Father. This is caused by a spirit of rejection that will keep you from an intimate relationship with the Heavenly Father and from being able to receive all the benefits He has for you.) {Luk.11:9} And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. {10} For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. {11} And of which of you that is a father shall his son ask a loaf, and he give him a stone? or a fish, and he for a fish give him a serpent? {12} Or if he shall ask an egg, will he give him a scorpion? {13} If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

When I went inside, I saw that he had a bunch of servants (angels [and earthly ministers]) who were preparing many gift packages out of the gifts that the doctor had made for the 'children'. They were wrapping them in clear cellophane and getting them ready for delivery. {Heb.1:13} But of which of the angels hath he said at any time, Sit thou on my right hand, Till I make thine enemies the footstool of thy feet? {14} Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to do service for the sake of them that shall inherit salvation?

(These gifts represent salvation through Jesus and the promises of Father in His Word to us.) {Rom.11:28} As touching the gospel, they are enemies for your sake: but as touching the election, they are beloved for the fathers' sake. {29} For the gifts and the calling of God are not repented of. {30} For as ye in time past were disobedient to God, but now have obtained mercy by their disobedience, {31} even so have these also now been disobedient, that by the mercy shown to you they also may now obtain mercy. {32} For God hath shut up all unto disobedience, that he might have mercy upon all. Only sinners can be saved and understand mercy and grace, given to those God loves in manifold ways to bestow upon the needy. {12:6} And having gifts differing according to the grace that was given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of our faith; {7} or ministry, let us give ourselves to our ministry; or he that teacheth, to his teaching; {8} or he that exhorteth, to his exhorting: he that giveth, let him do it with liberality; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that showeth mercy, with cheerfulness.

The gifts were all over the house on tables and along the floors next to the walls. I was surprised at all these wonderful gifts he had prepared and then I felt ashamed. I had thought that he meant to do harm to the 'children' and that I didn't trust him. Then I realized that so many of these gifts had been sitting in their places for a long time because many of the 'children' felt the same way toward the doctor that I had felt. I thought to myself, ‘If only they could see these gifts!’

Then my husband (representing Jesus) came up behind me and encouraged me to go lay down and rest on the large king-sized bed that was in the middle of the living room. I was still fearful of the doctor because, even though I saw all the wonderful gifts that he had prepared for the 'children', I felt that he didn't intend any of those gifts for me and I thought he would be angry at me for intruding into his house and doubting his person. (This is representative of a lying spirit of rejection. If we listen to these lies, it will keep us from receiving all the gifts that Father has intended us to have.) {Heb.4:2} For indeed we have had good tidings preached unto us, even as also they: but the word of hearing did not profit them, because it was not united by faith with them that heard. So I decided to lay on my right side, underneath the bed. My husband was disappointed and didn't agree with this, but he loved me so much that he still went and laid next to me under the bed with his arm around me to bring comfort and peace to me. (Many live beneath their privilege and relationship with Jesus. We are sons and daughters of God through Him.)

{Rom.8:35} Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? {36} Even as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter. (We endure the death of the old man of self.) {37} Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. {38} For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, {39} nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The underneath of the bed was very high up, so that I could sit up underneath it and there was a blue, transparent bed skirt that I could see the front door and the rest of the living room through. (The place of rest, on top of the bed, is high up in Heavenly places. Laying underneath represents being overcome by our carnal mind.) {Rom.8:6} For the mind of the flesh is death; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. I then saw the doctor come in through the front door. I watched his every move, while laying under the bed, through the transparent bed skirt. My husband gently said to me, “Let's get out from under here. It's okay. It's safe”. So I came out from under the bed, but I couldn't face the doctor.

He knew what my thoughts were and saw the brokenness of my being. He knew I felt unworthy of his gifts and his love. This saddened him. He longed for me to come to him and receive his love with open arms. {Heb.3:17} But with whom was he grieved forty years? was it not with them that had sinned, whose carcasses fell in the wilderness? (Fear, doubt and unbelief are sin and it grieves the Father. Spirits of rejection, self-loathing, self-pity and unworthiness hide very well in “religion” and in those who are under the law and self-works. We must not forget that it is the sacrifice of our Savior and the grace of the Father that we are counted worthy and reckoned as righteous.) (This is what we must believe for deliverance.)

I went out and sat on the front porch on the first step. I was feeling hopeless when, suddenly, I saw the doctor's hand place a love letter to my right on the step next to me. (The Word of God is His love letter to us and all His promises in it. This is always the “first step” to victory over the enemy and his lies!) I looked at it. It was in a white business envelope with my name written on it with fancy lettering (like calligraphy). I then looked away from it, as tears rolled down my face and a pain went through my heart. I was afraid to read it and afraid to accept His love. Then the evil voice of Rejection told me that if I opened it there would be nothing but rebukes and words of rejection and condemnation! Self-pity said that I didn't need any more of that in my life and Self-loathing said, “How could you even think that He could love you?” All the while, my Spirit man, inside, knew how special I was to the doctor, but the lies of the enemy were casting me down, discouraging me and making me feel unworthy. (And so having no faith toward God, we miss out on all of His benefits, as the demons plotted.)

I wanted to leave the letter there, unopened, and slide down a yellow slide that appeared, now, in front of me, off of the porch. (“Yellow” signifying being fearful or chicken.) My husband appeared behind me and again told me, “Please! Don't go! Open the letter. It is a love letter just for you! He wrote it just for you! Can't you see how much he loves you? You are so special to Him”. I could see past my husband and through the wall of the house that the doctor was sad that I was ignoring His special letter that He had written just for me. I wanted to believe so much that I was special to Him but at the same time I was afraid to let myself believe it because I was afraid that my trust in Him would be betrayed and that eventually He would turn on me in a punishing way. (These demons are called fear of rejection and fear of failure.)

When I woke up, I knew that I was making Father sad because I wasn't trusting Him for His gift of healing and deliverance from the enemy and that I needed to get back into His Word to renew my mind daily and remind myself of His love for me. {Eph.6:16} withal taking up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. {17} And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. I asked Father for a verse or text through faith at random for this dream and He couldn't have picked a better “love letter”! My finger landed on Psalm 40:11, but here it is in context.

{Psa.40:1} I waited patiently for Jehovah; And he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. {2} He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay; And he set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. {3} And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: Many shall see it, and fear, And shall trust in Jehovah. {4} Blessed is the man that maketh Jehovah his trust, And respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. {5} Many, O Jehovah my God, are the wonderful works which thou hast done, And thy thoughts which are to us-ward; They cannot be set in order unto thee; If I would declare and speak of them, They are more than can be numbered. {6} Sacrifice and offering thou hast no delight in; Mine ears hast thou opened: Burnt-offering and sin-offering hast thou not required. {7} Then said I, Lo, I am come; In the roll of the book it is written of me: {8} I delight to do thy will, O my God; Yea, thy law is within my heart. {9} I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness in the great assembly; Lo, I will not refrain my lips, O Jehovah, thou knowest.

{10} I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation; I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great assembly. {11} Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Jehovah; Let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. {12} For innumerable evils have compassed me about; Mine iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up; They are more than the hairs of my head; And my heart hath failed me. {13} Be pleased, O Jehovah, to deliver me: Make haste to help me, O Jehovah. {14} Let them be put to shame and confounded together That seek after my soul to destroy it: Let them be turned backward and brought to dishonor That delight in my hurt. {15} Let them be desolate by reason of their shame That say unto me, Aha, aha. {16} Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: Let such as love thy salvation say continually, Jehovah be magnified. {17} But I am poor and needy; Yet the Lord thinketh upon me: Thou art my help and my deliverer; Make no tarrying, O my God.