Unequally Yoked? (2) - David Eells - UBBS 05.24.2026

Marriage, Divorce and Fornication (1)

(audio)

David Eells, 5/24/26

 

Scriptural Marriage and Divorce

David Eells

I know this can be a real can of worms and such a touchy subject when dealing with people who love each other, but we owe it to the brethren to speak the truth concerning their eternal life. We must consider scripture rather than human reasoning, which has gotten a lot of people in trouble and they don’t know why they are there.

Here are some basic things the Lord has shown from scripture on divorce and remarriage:

Jesus' commands superseded the Jews' permission for divorce by His statements, so we cannot go to the law to justify divorce. (Mat.19:8) He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. Once again religion is wrong. Hardened hearts cannot be turned easily but in respecting scripture there is safety.

There is only one reason for divorce. (9) And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for fornication (Numeric) and marries another woman commits adultery.”

If a spouse commits fornication, whether outside of the first marriage or by illegal remarriage, the other is free to remarry because the first spouse broke the marriage bond. Being legally able to remarry does not mean this is God's will for you. God loves to restore. If your mate repents and asks your forgiveness, then forgive as Christ forgave you. Also, spiritual fornication of the heart is not an excuse, for the scripture speaks of physical fornication of the body.

You may be concerned, thinking, “What can I do if I got married before I came to the Lord?” Don’t worry about that, because everything we did before we came to the Lord was sin, and we can’t go back and do anything about it. After you’re saved, you are now a new creation in the Lord, and your sins are washed clean by the blood of Christ.

The disciples admitted this was a hard statement, and many think so today, but it is better to obey than to bring yourselves under a curse that many endure. (Mat.19:10) The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”

Even in the Old Testament, it was fornication for a believer to be married to an unbeliever but hear me out... (Ezr.9:2) For they have taken of their daughters for themselves and for their sons, so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the peoples of the lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass. ... (Ezr.10:10) And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have trespassed, and have married foreign women, to increase the guilt of Israel. (11) Now therefore make confession unto Jehovah, the God of your fathers, and do his pleasure; and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land, and from the foreign women. Don’t act here without reading on.

And so it is in the New Covenant: (1Co.7:39) A wife is bound for so long time as her husband liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is free to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. Notice we are to marry “only in the Lord”. (1Co.9:5) Have we no right to lead about a wife that is a believer. Notice the condition, the wife must be a believer.. (2Co.6:14) Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath light with darkness? (15) And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what portion hath a believer with an unbeliever? (If one becomes one with an unbeliever to some extent they are leavening themselves.)(16) And what agreement hath a temple of God with idols? for we are a temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. (17) Wherefore Come ye out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, And touch no unclean thing; And I will receive you. Better not even to date an unbeliever, saints. You don’t want to go there because it will bring you a lot of heartache and curses in the future.

However, God makes a concession in the New Testament when a person comes to the Lord with an unbelieving spouse because the unbelieving spouse might eventually be saved through their faith. (1Co.7:12) But to the rest say I, not the Lord: If any brother hath an unbelieving wife, and she is content to dwell with him, let him not leave her. (13) And the woman that hath an unbelieving husband, and he is content to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband. (14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

If that spouse, as an unbeliever, departs, you can remarry. (15) Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such [cases]...

Even if you are remarried illegally many times before coming to the Lord, the commands are to Christians and are not retroactive to the old life, for we are a new creation, cleansed of all past sins.

Also, Christians can do things in ignorance that are under the blood, for knowledge precedes sin in the New Testament, as before the Law. (Rom.5:13) for until the law sin was in the world; but sin is not imputed when there is no law. (Rom.7:8)... for apart from the law sin [is] dead. (Jas.4:17) To him therefore that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. (Joh.15:22) If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no excuse for their sin. This is not an excuse for someone to falsely claim ignorance because God looks on the heart and knows all; He knows what you understand and what you do not.

Judgment is sure for fornicators and adulterers. (1Co.6:9) Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators (Basically illegal sexual actions), nor idolaters, nor adulterers (Sometimes this is marrying someone who is already married and not scripturally divorced), nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, (10) nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (Rev.21:7) He that overcometh shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. (8) But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part [shall be] in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death.

Marriage and divorce can be a very convoluted problem. If, after diligently searching into all that the New Covenant teaches on this subject and asking elders with no satisfaction, remember what Moses did. (Exo.18:25) And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. (26) And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves. God told Moses that he would be as God to Israel. For some things, we need to get a word from our Lord. But be careful that you don’t receive a flesh pleasing answer from your own mind. Samson kept choosing women for looks rather than staying with scripture and it got him killed.

Let’s look at what Paul wrote to the Corinthians about marriage.

(1Co.7:1) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (2) But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. (3) Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (4) The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife. (5) Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that ye may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency. (6) But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. (7) Yet I would that all men were even as I myself. Howbeit each man hath his own gift from God, one after this manner, and another after that. (If you’re not married, then you won’t be distracted, but not everybody has this gift to be celibate, and we’re told, (Pro.18:22) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of the Lord.)

(8) But I say to the unmarried and to widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. (9) But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (10) But unto the married I give charge, [yea] not I, but the Lord, That the wife depart not from her husband (11) (but should she depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband); and that the husband leave not his wife.  (I know there are circumstances where a believing or unbelieving husband can be very obnoxious, very overbearing, very sinful, and that’s very crucifying to the wife, but that’s not an excuse to leave. In most cases, unless he is asking the wife to willfully sin, there can be submission on her part. However, no one should stay in a situation where their life or the lives of their children are in physical danger. We have permission in such a case to flee (Matthew 24:16; Luke 21:21; etc.).

(12) But to the rest say I, not the Lord: If any brother hath an unbelieving wife, and she is content to dwell with him, let him not leave her. (13) And the woman that hath an unbelieving husband, and he is content to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband. (14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. Sanctified here means that the influence of you Christian life can save them and also your faith can stand in for them.

(15) Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us in peace. (Just know that in the New Testament, being married to an unbeliever is not grounds to leave them; again, only if they leave you, are you free. In the Old Testament, however, if a believer married a non-believer, they demanded a divorce over that because for Jews to be married to non-Jews was fornication (Nehemiah 13:23-30; Ezra chapters 9 and 10). (Neh.13:26) Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, and he was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did foreign women cause to sin. (27) Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to trespass against our God in marrying foreign women? Back to (1Cor.7:16) For how knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O husband, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

…(25) Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: but I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be trustworthy. (26) I think therefore that this is good by reason of the distress that is upon us, [namely,] that it is good for a man to be as he is. (27) Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. (28) But shouldest thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Yet such shall have tribulation in the flesh: and I would spare you.

(29) But this I say, brethren, the time is shortened, that henceforth both those that have wives may be as though they had none; (In other words don’t let this distract from your service to God.) (30) and those that weep, as though they wept not; and those that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and those that buy, as though they possessed not; (31) and those that use the world, as not using it to the full: for the fashion of this world passeth away. (32) But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; (In other words, they’re not divided in their attention. However, people don’t have to be divided in their attention; they can be celibate or they can always put the Lord first.)

(33) but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, (Well, if a man is married, it’s necessary for him to please his wife, but not to the extent that he lets her be the head of the house; that’s bad, very bad. That’s like Jezebel and Ahab  and I’ll share more on that later.)

(34) and is divided. [So] also the woman that is unmarried and the virgin is careful for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married is careful for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (Is this a bad thing? No, it’s commanded, as a matter of fact. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just that your ability to have your total attention on the Lord without being distracted by family situations is going to be limited. God created the family, so He’s not against families. He’s against families where they’re not married, obviously. What Paul is saying is that if a woman is married, she has to please her husband.)

(35) And this I say for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is seemly, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. (36) But if any man thinketh that he behaveth himself unseemly toward his virgin [daughter], if she be past the flower of her age, and if need so requireth, let him do what he will; he sinneth not; let them marry. (You have to understand that a woman was under the authority of her father until she married.)(37) But he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power as touching in his own heart, to keep his own virgin [daughter], shall do well.

(38) So then both he that giveth his own virgin [daughter] in marriage doeth well; and he that giveth her not in marriage shall do better. (39) A wife is bound for so long time as her husband liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is free to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. (40) But she is happier if she abide as she is, after my judgment: and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

 

Polygamy in the Church?

Question from a sister: Someone told me that polygamy is allowed by God! I don't believe this, but I had no way to refute this claim. I tried finding some scriptures, but to no avail. When I looked this subject up on the internet, I actually found a “Christian” website promoting polygamy. What will they think of next? Can you share some scriptures that refute this claim?

My answer: Under the Law, they were permitted to have more than one wife and divorce their wives because of their “hardness of heart” but under grace, there is no such permission. Jesus said a man could have one wife and “the two shall become one flesh.” (Mat.19:5-8) and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why then did Moses command to give a bill of divorcement, and to put [her] away? He saith unto them, Moses for your hardness of heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it hath not been so. From the beginning, God gave Adam, the Son of God, one wife. It appears his righteous seed through Seth were monogamous also. Cain's evil descendant, Lamech, was the first to take two wives. (Gen.4:19) And Lamech took unto him two wives.

In order that a line of Israel not be extinct, the next of kin was permitted to raise up seed to a dead man's wife. But the seed of New Testament spiritual Israel is passed on through the Word (seed or sperma) of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit.

Although they disobeyed God, the Kings of Israel were forbidden to multiply wives. (Deu.17:17-19) Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold. And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book, out of [that which is] before the priests the Levites: and it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life; that he may learn to fear Jehovah his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them.

The Apostles had one wife. (1Co.9:5) Have we no right to lead about a wife that is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas? All of God's people must be upright, but Paul required elders to be “without reproach” and “blameless” in that they were to be the “husband of one wife.” This is definitely one wife at a time because fornication is a legal ground for divorce and remarriage (1 Corinthians 7), and the death of a spouse is a legal ground to remarry. (1Ti.3:2) The bishop therefore must be without reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, orderly, given to hospitality, apt to teach. (12) Let deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling [their] children and their own houses well. (Tit.1:6,7) if any man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having children that believe, who are not accused of riot or unruly. For the bishop must be blameless, as God's steward... If the elders or the mature in the Lord need to be upright in having one wife, all need to be this way to be mature.

The husband is the head of one wife as Christ is the head of one church. (Eph.5:23-33) For the husband is the head of the wife (not wives), as Christ also is the head of the church, [being] himself the saviour of the body. (24) But as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives also [be] to their husbands in everything. (25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; (26) that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, (27) that he might present the church to himself a glorious [church], not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

(28) Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: (29) for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; (30) because we are members of his body. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife (not wives); and the two shall become one flesh. (32) This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. (33) Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and [let] the wife [see] that she fear her husband.

Now, I want to share this, too. Men, do not appease a Jezebel spirit; it’s going to seduce you and lead you astray. This is our command from God. (Eph.5:22) Wives, [be in subjection] unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (The Lord, not I, said this, but those who have a Jezebel spirit will still get angry, although this is the truth. We have to obey God’s Word, or we can’t call ourselves “disciples.”) (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, (Just as much as Jesus is Head of the Church, the husband is the head of the wife.), [being] himself the saviour of the body. (If a wife does not obey her husband, she is not going to get saved.)

(24) But as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives also [be] to their husbands in everything. (To make this possible for the wife, we are then told,) (25) Husbands, love your wives (Feeling unloved isn’t an excuse for a wife to disobey her husband, but love makes it easier for the wife to obey her husband.), even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it.

Men, loving your wife does not include giving in to a Jezebel spirit. Giving in means you are putting yourself under a demon spirit and taking yourself and your family out from under God. If you do that, you will pay the price. On the other hand, do not judge the lost wife. God insists on Christ the Word being your Head. Don’t judge her, but don’t allow her to be your Head. If Jesus is not your Head, then you are following a false god. It’s very plain. (Mat.12:30) He that is not with me is against me… If, because of your stand for Christ, your wife leaves you, then suffer for Christ’s sake. We all have to suffer in one way or another, but do not follow a false god. The Bible says, (1Co.7:15) Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such [cases:] but God hath called us in peace

If your spouse leaves because you follow Jesus, then so be it. You are not bound in such a case; God never really wants you to be married to an unbeliever anyway. He says to stay married to them only if they are content to dwell with you, because they can be saved through your witness. Amen! The wife who has an unbelieving husband should obey him up to, but not including, moral sin. (1Pe.3:1) In like manner, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives. (Read our book on our site, Word Woman and Authority.)

If you want to be a disciple of Jesus, you have to follow the Word. If you want to be a “Christian” and not be a disciple of Jesus, you are not going to be saved. It’s that simple. The word “Christian” is a very loose term in our day, meaning almost nothing. In the early days, people were called “Christians” because they followed Christ Jesus and did His works. Today, the word “Christian” should mean more, but, sadly, it doesn’t mean much to people.

Jesus told us, (Mat.10:34) Think not that I came to send peace on the earth (You might think, “Peace between me and my wife is the most important. I have to do whatever I have to do.” No, you don’t. Jesus did not come to send peace on the earth.): I came not to send peace, but a sword. (And that “sword” is to divide those who are loyal to God’s Word from those who are not.) (35) For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law (Now, there are many more relationships. He’s just making a point.): (36) and a man’s foes [shall be] they of his own household. When you come to God, and they have not, you have no communion there.

The Bible says, (2Co.6:14) Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath light with darkness? If you follow the Lord, they can be converted by your witness. If you don’t follow the Lord, you have no favor from God, and in that event, don’t expect your family to be saved. For your family to be saved, the most important thing for you to do is follow the Lord as a disciple of Jesus Christ and have favor from God. He will save your family if you believe Him for it. (Mat.10:37) He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. You can love people more than you love the Word. The Lord and Word are the same. If you love someone or something more than the Word, you are going to be deceived. It’s possible to pity demon-possessed people and then, through demons manipulating that pity, to be deceived and fall right into their situation.

Don’t believe that all those who call themselves “Christian” are going to be saved, because (Mat.10:38) And he that doth not take his cross and follow after me, is not worthy of me. (We are to die on our “cross” in order to gain our higher life, the life of the born-again man.) (39) He that findeth his life (This is the old psuche life.) shall lose it; (39) and he that loseth his life (Again, this is the old psuche life, the carnal self.) for my sake shall find it.

Let me share with you a testimony we have on our site called:

 

Marriage Lost and Found

William and Jamie Leek - 02/09/2010

My wife and I have been separated and near divorce twice since the year 2000 because we loved “our sin”, plain and simple. The first separation was in 2002 and 2003. This separation wasn't as bad as the second, but there were a lot of lies and deceit practiced by both parties during the first separation. We got back together in 2003, where our “Mother in the Lord” renewed our vows. The only problem with this is that we were still mocking God in our walks with Him and still “playing church.” We had made a “confession” of Jesus Christ, but we were not being taught the “whole counsel of God,” so we thought the Lord forgave our sin at the cross, and we were “Covered in the Blood.” According to Matthew 12:43-45, when we confessed Christ and His blood cleansed us from our sin and the curse, we allowed that sin to remain in our lives. The demons, which plagued us, brought seven more back with them, stronger than the first. Thus, we were worse off than ever before.

We thank the Lord for His mercy, grace, and long-suffering with us. In 2004 came the second separation. This time, the Lord had given us both over to the desires of our very own wicked hearts and allowed us to sink to levels of darkness that we never knew we had in us. During our second separation, the Lord allowed us to see just how sick the human heart, will, and emotions really are (Jeremiah 17:9). During this time of separation, we both fled at top speed back into the world, and we returned to our old ways. I began to smoke pot again (all day EVERYDAY), and she began to drink more than she ever did. We both began to sleep around with other people outside of our marriage. We were separated for nine months, and the combined number of people the two of us slept with was 16. The Lord really allowed us to fall to the bottom of the depths of the sea of sin, which our lives had become.

We were going to a little Pentecostal church at the time when these separations took place. It was here we met a woman I considered to be like a mother in the Lord. She loved my wife and family with all her heart. She took time to come to our home and share the scriptures with us once a week for an extended period of time. She believed with her whole heart that we were “called” to the ministry. She would call me in the middle of the night and say, “I woke up in tears, praying in tongues because I just had such a burden for your family.” The Lord would end up using this mighty woman of God and her fervent prayer life to reconcile our marriage and heal our family. She also told me during the 2004 separation that the Lord gave her a dream where He showed her my family living together in a home happier than we had ever been. This, of course, did not matter to me at the time because my heart was full of rage and hatred.

I don't believe in accidents; I believe in the sovereign God written about in the scriptures. In January of 2005, I took a trip to Florida with a woman with whom I had been committing adultery. We drove down together, but for some reason at the end of the trip I made her get on a plane, and I drove home alone. On the trip home, my wife and I started to talk again. The Lord also began to really convict me of my sin. Even though, at the time, I did not understand the meaning of “conviction of sin.” All I knew was that I had an overwhelming feeling of guilt for what I was doing. I knew that a change had to come.

In April of 2005, my wife and I really started to talk again on a regular basis. At the beginning of May, we had been together for the entire weekend when we received a phone call from a lady with whom we had gone to church. This lady had news that would shake my wife and me to the very core of our being. She told me that my Mother in the Lord, Shirley Summers, was dying of cancer. Well, this is where we know the Lord began to heal our marriage. When the woman shared this news with me on the phone, I began to weep. With tears streaming down my face, I shared the news with my wife, and we shared tears together. She looked at me and said, “I am going to my parents' house, and I'm getting my things, and I am coming home.”

That was on May 4, 2005. The next day, my mom called me on the phone and told me that Shirley had gone on to glory. The reason this stands out as one of the most important events in our marriage is that this woman prayed for us fervently (James 5:16). She never stopped believing in our call to the ministry, and she stood in faith for our marriage when we couldn't. Also, the number “5” in the scriptures signifies “GRACE,” and we didn't realize that until a year later, that our Mother in the Lord had died on 5/05/05, a number and day of GRACE.

The Lord was very long-suffering with my wife and me. It was not until after we reconciled that we ran across a website where we began to hear the “full Gospel” being preached. We had never heard all the important doctrines taught throughout the scriptures. We had not been taught about repentance, obedience, holiness, or real Bible faith. We also realized that neither one of us was truly saved, as spoken of in the Bible. The scariest thing of all is that we realized that if the Lord would have called our numbers, we would have gone to HELL! It has been a long journey for both of us, as we got rid of the leaven in our lives after leaving the organized church. Over the years, we have had to learn what it means to repent and to truly come to the Lord, believing who He is and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

We thank the Lord for UBM for standing for the “TRUE GOSPEL”!

Deuteronomy 4:30 When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice.

Matthew 3:3 For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.

Now, what about common law marriage? Is that biblical? Most states in America have abolished common law marriage, and only a few states recognize it as a legal marriage between two people who have not purchased a marriage license or had their marriage solemnized by a ceremony. The few states that do recognize it have conditional statutes. Scripture is clear that marriage is a binding commitment before witnesses and God; a public, covenantal relationship. It is a commitment agreement until death. When Christians marry, they commit to loving each other just as Christ loved the church. If you are not married, you are living in fornication.

 

Heterosexual and Homosexual Fornication

Letter from a friend:  Hi! I have a neighbor friend with whom I've been having sort of an ongoing “discussion/argument” about whether sex outside of marriage is OK, according to the Bible. I know in my heart it is not, but he wants me to prove it to him with scripture. I haven't studied it extensively, but what I've read doesn't say it precisely enough to prove my point. There is one passage about two unwed people being found in the act and having to marry. Since the Ten Commandments do not say, thou shalt not have sex outside of marriage, he thinks it is ok. (LOL) Of course, the real issue is that he's not a born-again believer. But he asked me to prove it to him, so I'm going to try to do it. I don't know much about the Hebrew meanings of the words, etc. Can you help when you have time? :-) Thanks!

My reply:  Fornication is the broad term that covers all sex outside of heterosexual marriage. Adultery, homosexuality, whoremonger, bestiality, and masturbation all fall under this category. The Greek word for fornication is “porneia”, from which we get pornography. Many commit fornication with pornography in print or on any visual screen, TV, social media sites, movies, etc. (Mat.5:28) but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. The same is true for any other illicit sexual desire. Repentance and faith deliver from these sins.

 

Heterosexual Fornication

Everyone who has sex out of marriage is a fornicator. (1Co.7:1) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (7:2) But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

All fornicators must repent or face eternal damnation. (1Co.6:9) Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, (10) nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

(15) Know ye not that your bodies are members of Christ? shall I then take away the members of Christ, and make them members of a harlot? God forbid. (16) Or know ye not that he that is joined to a harlot is one body? for, The twain, saith he, shall become one flesh. (17) But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. (18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. (1Co.10:8) Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

(Gal.5:19) Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (License to “go beyond the things that are written”), (21) envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forewarn you, that they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

(Rev.21:7) He that overcometh shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. (8) But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part [shall be] in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death. (Rev.22:14) Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right [to come] to the tree of life, and my enter in by the gates into the city (the bride). (15) Without are the dogs, and the sorcerers, and the fornicators, and the murderers, and the idolaters, and every one that loveth and maketh a lie.

(1Co.7:9) But if they have not continency (self-control of sexual appetites), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1Ti.5:14) I desire therefore that the younger [widows] marry, bear children, rule the household, give no occasion to the adversary for reviling: (15) for already some are turned aside after Satan.

(Job.31:1) I made a covenant with mine eyes; How then should I look upon a virgin? (9) If my heart hath been enticed unto a woman, And I have laid wait at my neighbor's door; (10) Then let my wife grind unto another, And let others bow down upon her. (11) For that were a heinous crime; Yea, it were an iniquity to be punished by the judges: (12) For it is a fire that consumeth unto Destruction, And would root out all mine increase.

(Pro.2:16) To deliver thee from the strange woman, Even from the foreigner that flattereth with her words; (17) That forsaketh the friend of her youth, And forgetteth the covenant of her God: (18) For her house inclineth unto death, And her paths unto the dead; (19) None that go unto her return again, Neither do they attain unto the paths of life:

(Exo.22:16) And if a man entice a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. (17) If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. (Deu.22:28) If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; (29) then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his days.

Do you believe that because you are “saved” that you can get away with this willful disobedience? (Jer.7:9) Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods that ye have not known, (10) and come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered; that ye may do all these abominations? (11) Is this house, which is called by my name, become a den of robbers in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it, saith Jehovah. (12) But go ye now unto my place which was in Shiloh, where I caused my name to dwell at the first, and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my people Israel. (13) And now, because ye have done all these works, saith Jehovah, and I spake unto you, rising up early and speaking, but ye heard not; and I called you, but ye answered not: (14) therefore will I do unto the house which is called by my name, wherein ye trust, and unto the place which I gave to you and to your fathers, as I did to Shiloh. (15) And I will cast you out of my sight, as I have cast out all your brethren, even the whole seed of Ephraim. That is just the Old Testament, you say?

In any place that we are willfully disobedient, we need the fear of God. Sins of ignorance (Rom.5:13; 7:8,9) and sins of failure (Rom.7:19-25) are under the blood when we repent. However, we cannot claim the sacrificial benefits if we willfully walk in premeditated sin. (Heb.10:26) For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more a sacrifice for sins, (27) but a certain fearful expectation of judgment... Jesus bore all sin; He also bore the penalty for all sin, except willful disobedience. Notice that there is “no more a sacrifice” for that sin. We would have “a certain fearful expectation of judgment.” Many of us have been lied to about the cleansing of the blood. (1Jn.1:7) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanseth us from all sin. The blood cleanses the one who walks in the light of the Word, not in the darkness of willful disobedience.

For willful disobedience, we are promised certain judgment. We pay the penalty for this sin here and now, as in the following verses: (Mat.18:34) And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors (demons), till he should pay all that was due. (35) So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if ye forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. God will use the demons to make us pay for a sin of the will. (Mat.5:25) Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art with him in the way; lest haply the adversary deliver thee to the judge (God), and the judge deliver thee to the officer (demon), and thou be cast into prison. (26) Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou have paid the last farthing. The prison here is spiritual bondage to sin and the curse, administered by the demons. Jesus came “...to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening [of the prison] to them that are bound” (Isa.61:1). Willful disobedience throws us back into the prison that Jesus delivered us from.

David sinned willfully with Bathsheba. When he repented, Nathan the prophet said, “The Lord also hath put away thy sin”, but he also said, “The sword shall never depart from thy house.” In other words, I forgive you, but you will have to pay the penalty. This proved true, for David lost three sons and many people. His own son Absalom won the sympathy of the people and usurped the kingdom. David had to flee for his life. As parents we do not spank our children for failure or mistakes, but for willful disobedience.

Paul said, “For the good which I would I do not: but the evil which I would not (willed not), that I practice. But if what I would not (willed not), that I do, it is no more I that do it, but sin which dwelleth in me” (Rom.7:19,20). Paul was failing God in a sin that his will was against. Notice that he hated the sin and was not accounted guilty; the old sin nature was guilty. When we are against the sin, God takes our side against the sin. He takes the side of the spiritual man against the old man. In this state, Paul cried out to the Lord. (24) Wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me out of the body of this death? Then he accepted God's promise of deliverance by faith. (25) I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Jesus bore the curse of the sin for a person who, like Paul, is repentant.

The curse of death is upon the one who will not save themselves for marriage. (Deu.22:13) If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,(14) and lay shameful things to her charge, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came nigh to her, I found not in her the tokens of virginity; …(20) But if this thing be true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the damsel; (21) then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the harlot in her father's house: so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee. Only repentance and faith in the sacrifice of Jesus removes this curse.

(22) If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband,(Adultery) then they shall both of them die, the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away the evil from Israel.

(23) If there be a damsel that is a virgin betrothed unto a husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; (24) then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them to death with stones; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbor's wife: so thou shalt put away the evil from the midst of thee.

(25) But if the man find the damsel that is betrothed in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her; then the man only that lay with her shall die: (26) but unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbor, and slayeth him, even so is this matter; (27) for he found her in the field, the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.

 

Homosexual Fornication

(Jude 1:7) Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them, having in like manner with these given themselves over to fornication and gone after strange flesh (Men with men/women with women), are set forth as an example, suffering the punishment of eternal fire. (2Pe.2:6) and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, having made them an example unto those that should live ungodly; (7) and delivered righteous Lot, sore distressed by the lascivious life of the wicked (8) (for that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed [his] righteous soul from day to day with [their] lawless deeds): (9) the Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment unto the day of judgment; (10) but chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of defilement, and despise dominion.

We have seen many people who fell into faction and ultimately into fornication of many kinds, and God reprobated them.

Let me share a portion of a dream from Reynaldo Portela:

In this dream, an angel put me in a room where a group of men was practicing homosexuality, and the angel told me, “The man who has sex with another man is going to regret it. God hates the practice of that sin.” (David: In the spiritual, we are reborn with Christ’s spirit. Therefore, we should only sow Christ’s spirit in our soul, which is our mind, will, and emotions. If we receive the spiritual seed of “men”, we often lose our first love and become reprobate.) (Rom.1:24) Wherefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts unto uncleanness, that their bodies should be dishonored among themselves: (25) for that they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. (26) For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: (27) and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due.

(28) And even as they refused to have God in [their] knowledge, God gave them up unto a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting (32) who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practise such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practise them.

In an open vision, I, David, saw a factious group, and one of them that I knew left them and went behind a wall. The Lord said, “Follow him,” so I did. What I saw behind the wall was this man committing sodomy on 3 of his friends. Over the next day or two, I went to this man and told him my vision, and his eyes widened, and Michael and I both saw he was guilty. He didn't deny it, but later he threatened me. The factious leader told me about three times that he spoke with them during a certain time period, when he was supposed to be with us, and then he fell away three times. I told him he could not associate with them according to the Word. Eve Brast had a dream where they had captured her, and they were bisexual. Other factious leaders had the same problem and were also bisexual. They all have sexual perversion. Satan demands perversion from his servants. The DS are satanists also and are bisexual. They have the same spirits. God is always willing to deliver anyone like this if there is repentance.

(Gal.5:19) Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (21) ...they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

(1Co.6:9) Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, (10) ... shall inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

(Deu.23:17) There shall be no prostitute of the daughters of Israel, neither shall there be a sodomite of the sons of Israel. (18) Thou shalt not bring the hire of a harlot, or the wages of a dog, into the house of Jehovah thy God for any vow: for even both these are an abomination unto Jehovah thy God.

(Rev.21:7) He that overcometh shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. (8) But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part [shall be] in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death. (Rev.22:14) Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right [to come] to the tree of life, and my enter in by the gates into the city. (15) Without are the dogs, and the sorcerers, and the fornicators, and the murderers, and the idolaters, and every one that loveth and maketh a lie.

Sodomite Crossdressers -(1Ki.14:24) and there were also sodomites in the land: they did according to all the abominations of the nations which Jehovah drove out before the children of Israel. (1Ki.15:11) And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of Jehovah, as did David his father. (12) And he put away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made. (Deu.22:5) A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto Jehovah thy God.

(Lev.18:22) Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Lev.20:13) And if a man lie with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have committed abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

 

Bestiality

(Exo.22:19) Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

(Lev.18:23) And thou shalt not lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith; neither shall any woman stand before a beast, to lie down thereto: it is confusion. (Lev.20:15) And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast. (16) And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

(Deu.27:21) Cursed be he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.

 

Masturbation

(Gen.38:8) And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and perform the duty of a husband's brother unto her, and raise up seed to thy brother. (9) And Onan knew that the seed would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give seed to his brother. (10) And the thing which he did was evil in the sight of Jehovah: and he slew him also.

Remember I said that through repentance and faith in Jesus and His sacrifice for us, there is deliverance from these sins and its curses. Now God knows that you did not necessarily choose this life, and some of you think you had this from birth, which is not true. A lot of you already know that you were molested at some point in your life, and you became a sinner. Well, these demons entered in then. Now the Good News of the Gospel is that Jesus Christ bore this sin upon Himself for you, and He is offering you grace to repent and be delivered from it so you will never have these wrong desires and emotions again. He took away the sin nature of homosexuality and any sin of fornication. He wants you to repent and surrender your life to Him. Confess your sins as the Bible says in 1Jo.1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God will give you a new, clean spirit and a new nature, this free gift of His salvation!

Let’s pray. Father, we thank You, and we ask You, Lord, to reach out and touch the people out there who are in bondage to sin, homosexual, heterosexual, or any kind of sin, and we ask You, Lord, to reach out and touch them with Your convicting power. Father, we ask You to show them that Your word is true. We ask You to reveal Yourself to them, and to show them the Real True Good News that Jesus has already delivered them from this; He's already borne their sin on the cross, and they don't have to bear it any longer. Father, we ask it in the name of Jesus that You go forth right now and deliver those who are listening to us who believe what's been shared here. Please, Lord, go forth and deliver them now in the name of Jesus. We rebuke these demons from your life in the name of Jesus Christ! O Lord, we thank You for Your mighty power going forth to restore those that You have loved from the foundation of the world. Thank you, Father. 

Now, friends, if you agreed and prayed this with us, you need to go and start reading your New Testament and believe what it says and know that the Lord is working in you both to will and do of His good pleasure. It’s not by your works, it’s His working in you!

Now, I want to share a published article on a study done that proves there is freedom from homosexuality.

 

'Groundbreaking' study shows 'gays' can change 

Posted: September 15, 2007 1:00 a.m. Eastern © 2007 WorldNetDaily.com

In the first longitudinal, peer-reviewed, scientific study of its kind, researchers have concluded that some homosexuals can change their “orientation” through religiously mediated guidance.

Researchers Stanton L. Jones and Mark A. Yarhouse released the results of a three-year study on Thursday during an address at the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference.

Their conclusions contradict the claims of the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, which contend that such a change in sexual orientation is impossible and attempting to pursue it likely will cause depression, anxiety, or self-destructive behavior.

The new study concluded such changes do not cause psychological harm to the patient.

Nicholas A. Cummings, former American Psychological Association president, praised the research.

“This study has broken new ground in its adherence to objectivity and a scientific precision that can be replicated and expanded, and it opens new horizons for investigation”, he said.

Exodus International, the world's largest Christian ministry to homosexuals, said it funded the research because of the absence of any scientific, peer-reviewed research on the topic.

The major findings are reported in a book to be released by the evangelical Christian publisher InterVarsity Press, “Ex-Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation.”

A homosexual-activist group called Truth Wins Out warned news organizations “to be highly skeptical of a biased 'ex-gay' sham study.”

The homosexual group said, “Caution should be taken in prematurely critiquing the study until the full methodology is available. However, based on unconfirmed reports, there is great concern that these notorious anti-gay researchers did little more than professional ex-gay lobbyists and ministers from Exodus International, and ask them if they had 'changed.’”

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International and a former homosexual, said, “Finally, there is now scientific evidence to prove what we as former homosexuals have known all along - that those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction can experience freedom from it.”

“For years, opponents of choice have said otherwise, and this body of research is critical in advancing the national dialogue on this issue”, he said.

Chambers said, “the life-changing process of leaving homosexuality behind” is not easy, but “for thousands of us, the journey has been well worth it, and we are grateful that these study findings give credence to our existence as men and women whose lives have been transformed by Jesus Christ.”

Jones, a provost and professor at Wheaton College, an evangelical school in Wheaton, Ill., told CitizenLink magazine in an interview he was prompted to do the study because of the “ever-increasing pessimism expressed in the professional world that sexual orientation could ever be changed.”

“This was in contrast to the fact that I occasionally met individuals in Christian circles who claim to have experienced precisely such change”, he said. “When the mental-health field actually began to say that change is impossible - that sexual orientation cannot be changed - it formed the perfect scientific hypothesis to be able to conduct a study.”

Jones noted there have been dozens of studies conducted suggesting change is possible for some people, but “the research is not of the highest quality and has been deeply and highly criticized.”

After studying the criticisms of those studies, Jones and Yarhouse concluded the proper methodology would need to be both “prospective and longitudinal.”

“Prospective means that you catch people before they begin the change process and follow them through the process, while longitudinal means that you're actually following people over time to see if the change is stable”, Jones explained to CitizenLink. “The scientific characteristics of the study are unique, in that no one has ever started early and then followed people over a long period of time like we did.”

Jones said they found that, by following the subjects over time, “not everyone is successful, not even a majority is successful, but a very substantial group of people report fairly dramatic change.”

“We found that 15 percent of our sample of about 100 claimed to actually have changed from homosexuality to heterosexuality”, he said. “These people experienced significant enough change that they really felt like they had left one sexual orientation to shift into another.”

He acknowledged “life is still complicated for these people, and some still have some residuals of their homosexual attractions.”

“However, they are people who report being able to function as heterosexuals, they're happy with their marriages, and they feel that their lives have changed dramatically”, he said.

The other type of success he found - in almost a quarter of the subjects - was “people who left the homosexual lifestyle and experienced very substantial reductions in homosexual attraction by embracing the Christian discipline of chastity, not acting on their sexual impulses.”

“These were people who felt like they were free now to orient their lives not on their sexual, erotic desires and needs, but on their relationship with God and on healthy, nonsexual intimacy with other people”, Jones said.

The two groups together, those who converted and those who experienced chastity, made up about 38 percent of the sample.

“We feel these changes observed over this substantial period of time provide a clear indication that the opinions of the secular mental-health field that change is impossible are simply wrong”, Jones said.

The second area of the research focused on the secular mental-health community's claims that the attempt to change is harmful.

Jones and Yarhouse administered a standard psychological inventory that measures psychological distress to subjects at every point along the way.

“We found that there was essentially no change in their psychological distress over time”, Jones said. “On that basis, we feel that there is no evidence that the change attempt is harmful, and we found evidence that change is possible for some people.”

He added, however, the research does not prove that anybody can change or that no one has ever been harmed from the attempt to change.

“It just suggests that the forceful way in which the secular mental-health community is saying change is impossible and harmful is just not well-advised”, he said.

Jones pointed out that the American Psychological Association has a blue-ribbon panel right now examining the question of how it should formulate its policies on the subject of attempts to change sexual orientation.

Certain members, Jones noted, have already said publicly that change is impossible and harmful.

Jones said he hopes “there will be enough of an open mind on the part of the secular mental-health community that they will not continue the movement towards banning these kinds of attempts to change sexual orientation, harassing them out of existence and labeling as unethical any professional person who cooperates with them.”

“There is a need to respect the autonomy of individuals who are distressed about what they have experienced sexually and for religious or moral reasons want to try the attempt to change”, Jones told CitizenLink. “Those people first need to be fully informed about just how complex and difficult that process is, and then they should have the right as individuals, as an exercise of personal and religious freedom, to seek support in their attempt to change sexual orientation.”

 

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